It hard. and im trying. i want this to work. And it feel like i should be over it by now but it still hurts so much. scares me so much. and it feels like no one can comprehend my pain. they probably can, but it feels like they cant and it just makes being here so lonely.
That was probably by far one of the worst weeks i had. and i cant go through that again. but i keep wondering when is it going to happen? i hate being this insecure.
I want to try again. and we are. but i want to because i still care, and you make me smile, and you make feel safe.
I hate this turmoil. and i just want everything to be okay again. but honestly i feel so trapped. i cant stop thinking about this. my thesis is due soonish and progress has been terrible. I deactivated my fb account because i feel like disappearing. i don't want to know how brilliant or terrible everyone elses lives are going till i can sort my own out.
i need time.
