i think im dying....someone pls help me!!!!grr...i just spent the day clearing up all my unfolded clothes...man that was tiring... my nose got all blocked cos of all the dust...my head hurts...well ive already cleared my study table and settled my clothes...so im kinda set for the new year...man...my heart is going like boom boom boom...so scared ....school is gonna start on next wed...boooo hooo...

haiz...i dunno what write bout any more...gots loads to write i guess...but im sorta feeling brain dead at this point of time...maybe later...

l8er.

you know what...i know i say this quite often but i'll say it again...life's the pits... grr...really getting quite irritated... god , you have one hell of a sense of humour if your finding this funny... i just wish things could be different...i dont regret anything but i wish there was a difference...it really sucks you know,liking someone then getting your heart broken ...best part is that its not really the person who i like thats breaking my heart but me , myself breaking my heart by my own crappy expectations...sometimes i wish i nvr liked you cos its hurts alot but i also know that i wont be who i am if i did not... i know i cant move on... my heart just doesnt feel right to move on yet but if there the slightest chance that things could change , i'll take it in a second and move on... and if there the slightest chance that u wanna say something ,pls do...

i know one thing for sure,i'll nvr let this interferre wid me and my family or my studies...these two always , always have to have a greater priority that any guy will have in my life...

i know i haven even gotten my o's result yet but im hoping to go to a jc...and i know it wont be easy but if i do get a place there , i wanna work my ass off to get 4 a's for my a's...i just dont wanna do the same stupid mistakes i did this year... i gotta start thinking more logically and sensibly...i know its gonna be tough and definatly not easy getting 4 a's but those of you who think i cant , just shut the hell up...cos if u aint got anything positive to say to me then dont say anything at all...i know it'd be tough but im willing to work for it...

ah...going tekka now...

so... surprise me...

im soooo sleepy!!...came home at like only 4 in da morning last night...had fun lah...went to watch the holiday with gaya,bhavani and anu.damn the movie was so romantic and loving and nice...quite funny also...hahaha... we went to watch it at vivocity....we nicely got lost on da way der and back also...

earlier the whole bunch of us went for dinner near my place....food was good... we had butter prawns...yum...

am reading a new book now...sleeping beauty by judith micheal.... nice lah...little dragy, little slow.... but nice...

it christmas eve...im going to orchard tonight wid gaya, anu, bhavani and my aunty frm m'sia...gonna have a gathering at my cuzzie place tomorrow...

have you ever had da feeling that everything pretty much sucks at times that you should be happy???yeah well im getting that feeling now...im feeling sick literally...and irritated and annoyed...and totally completely crankkky....there like bout 9 days till da hols end....a new year is gonna be beginning and what has changed???...a lot of things ...but i just wish that.....grrrr...i dont even know what im wishing for....okay i do know but am NOT in situtation to accuatly say it out...damn even a blog without resistriction, HAVE restrictions...and now im thinking, i cant make thru a few days...how ami gonna make it thru a few weeks!!!....

wadeva

well i found this poem on a dear friend's blog...i just thought i should put it up here...cause one way or another it reads my heart too=)...

Santa....

I know it seems I'm too old
To ask Santa to fulfill my dreams
But I've tried almost everything
This is my last resort, it seems.

I know God is busy all year round
And I don't want to bother him
So, Santa can you help me
Bring my baby back again.

After you take Susie her doll
And you deliver Tommy's boat
Maybe you could stop by here
And get my sinking heart to float.

I'll put out milk and cookies
To help you on your way
I just don't want to wake up
Without him Christmas Day.

Santa, can you tell him
I love him more each day
And Santa tell him
I still cry
And I still call out his name.

Santa can you let him know
The feelings I have are true
Santa can you tell him to hold me close
Without him I don't know what to do.

Santa tell him I'm still waiting
And he still has the key
He can come home through the front door
Or come back into my heart and make me happy.

Santa can you tell him
My eyes are no longer brown
Tell him they've turned a pale blue
Ever since he left this town

Santa, can you tell him
My hair is flowing and long
Tell him I've overcome my fears
And that now I'm really strong.

Santa, tell him for me please
How he's the one I miss and need.
Santa, please do whatever you can
To bring him back to me.

~agnes leo

A Night At The Museum:a damn wacky funny cool comedy...i just lurve the flick man...'rexxie'..wakekeke!...cracks me up...went to watch it today wid sapnaa and evelyn...haha...had a good time man... evelyn lost her shoe in da theater...so funny... we had lunch in mac then went for da movie...haha...after that we took 811 , sent eve home...then me and sapnaa ended up back at da interchange...then we walked around 200 plus there and took 800 round de other side of yishun...haha...eventually we took 853 ...i went home...she went home...haha..these wacky girl had da liberty of makin fun of me thru out...

anyway...i came home, then followed gaya to go pick up my cuzzie and aunt from da check point...then when we came home, they sat down gossiping...after that we went and bought nasi lemak from chong pang...i ended up blundering bhavani's order...haha...but she doesnt noe...hehe....

now they are back to gossiping...haha...a beetle just flew thru the hse...haha... jokes of life..haha...

i'll make it thru

well i guess i was not meant to blog yesterday...i mean i wrote everything out but couldnt post it and now i cant recover da post...haiz...oh well...i finish reading angels and demons...damn intresting la the book...i wanna read digital fotress,and the other dan brown book...cant remember the name...anywaY...im gonna watch movie with sapnaa and evelyn tomorrow...gotta go school first to make sure the cheque for my school fees didnt bounce..that also mean i gotta wake up early...i dunno whether to go to my cuzzie hse tonight...i was planning to go for a run...but if i go to my cuz hse, i might be back too late to go for da run...grr...

so tired ...of everything...

still missing you just in another way now..

today was such a long and tiring day...i slept damn late last night...1)cause i was watching vallararu halfway...2) even after i laid down to sleep i couldnt fall asleep...grr...then this morning my dad woke me up at like 10...so bloody tired...by da time i had my bath and left the hse for breakfast was like 11...met my aunty and bro for breakfast at the coffee shop...and there started the long and gruelling day...my cuz insisted on having chicken,soft drink and one whole curry puff... you see for a full grown adult that might not be so bad...but for a 5 year old... its bad very very bad...eventually he didnt finish the curry puff...my aunty bought him this really cute teddy bear that was purely white...and guess what...the little boy insisted to bring it along as we went to buy my other aunt a b'day gift...he drop the bear like a billion times and dirtied it...then he practically forced my aunty to buy him toys...after that when we went home this boy refused to eat and wanted to go to my neighbours hse to play with the boy there....sadly this was one thing we put our foots down about...later we went to watch happy feet...nice movie...kinda draggy...then i came home ....after this, gaya and i brought our grandparents to my other aunts hse so they could spend the night...THEN we picked up my dad and went for dinner at pizza hut...that was seriously seriously SERIOUSSSLY a long day....

well i got into MI for first 3 months....kinda scared to go to a new school...nervous...haiz...i'll be finally handing over the prefect file next week...long overdued...

no matter how hard i try forget i just cant...im trying to do my best but its proving too hard... ive lost more than just one person ive cared for and loved deeply and i must say, i miss you...alot..

omg...its been so long since i last blogged...so much has happened...haha...anyway first things first... da m'sia trip...it was soo fun...we barely slept atnights...stayed up talking and playing cards... we mostly slept on da journeys from one place to another...our tour guide, mr francis....eurgh...he just ouldnt shuddup...he told us all da stupid information that we dont need to know...he talk like non stop lah....thank god i was sitting at da back ...easier to ignore him...well they prefects were damn encouraging, esp during da obstacle course...only problem was that i fell ....twice...(:(...so sad...but i still countinued everything...kenna rope burn on my hand...oh wadeva...i had fun...i found out alot of things bout ppl i nvr expected...

anyway, after that i came back and the next day was my cousins wedding...the wedding was at lyk 11 plus but cos of the overflowing no. of ppl in my hse, 22 including my cousins from m'sia, i got up at lyk 5.30 to have my bath...i wore this brown sequin saree, tied back to front...it was damn nice, cept i dont have any photos(:(...any way we were running up and down doin da work da whole day and not even a word of thankss...anyway...i was one of the girls carrying the lamps but sadly my lamp extinguish as i was walking ...damn sad... nvm, theres the next wedding to look forward to...

on sunday i went for da sp show ith mahesh, hema , jevini and her sis...quite fun lah....show was nice cept the sound system cocked up a bit...there was a girl who couldnt sing for nuts and spoilt a whole bunch of songs...after that we went for dinner and i spoilt my my mood cos of a certain bastard...

on mon to wed i went for chalet that was all about da 4e ind in yss...again i learn alot bout them by this, surprising things...they bought a cake for me on da second day...so sweet of them right... anyway we went to escape theme park....had a blast there...

on wed night i went to yasoda akka's hse for dinner ...so fun...haha...yesterday i went to watch stepup agian with gaya, chitz and leela...fun cept that someone said i looked like a bitch with my nose stud....whatever lah...i cant give 2 hoots no more..i still love da movie...i was quite moody by the time i got back...ek...

i bought a new puma bag...i just love it man...ill post photos of it l8er...

time to get the facts straight...im not asking you guys to stop talking to him or me, i just want you guys to stop expecting me to forgive him...the last time you'll ask me to forgive him i said it was da last time and again you'll want me to forgive him???sorry lah...but i cant go back on my word...im a person of ego...
deal widdit...