I feel like a pool of mixed emotions. part of me just feels silly for feeling this way. nothing but a infatuation. i will get over it. but acknowledging that i have probably been acting like an idiot around someone makes me feel even sillier. sigghhh.

and then there's the part of me that feels all frustrated that there's all these hurdles i have to face in the course of doing..not doing… STARTING my masters. Its like i have to fight for every bit of it. but i also know that the fight makes all more fruitful. But its frustrating. pain assed frustrating. I'm trying to keep my head up and just talking everything one by one. I know no one who ever made it with out a fight. its a dream, its a future, i reckon that worth all the fight in the world. but does it have to be this tiring?

And mostly, i think, I'm a little upset that I'm felling silly and the frustration i feel is doing a great job in making me feel more upset.

silly silly me.

Thats what life is. ups and downs. spin around. fear and safety all in a safe seat.