i know I've been gone awhile. But like my title implies i decided a little absence from my literary vomit was required. ok lets face it. i was just too lazy to blog. and when i needed to blog, the words would just have been too nasty and left scars. but i actually feel i have so much to say. so for the darlings patiently waiting for my update and my ever so boring life, the long long post is going  to be just for you.

The disappearing act is not just about my absence in the blog for the past couple of weeks. its me in the past couple of months. i know who i am. i always have( always being the past 2 years of self discovery. but you get the point). But i think I'm far from perfect and along the way i sort of misplaced some of my priorities. The past half a year, I've spent discovering my freedom. My stressing on things that are relatively minor. but that's just me. this had to happen sooner or later. i had to learn how to live life on my own. but lets face it. I've always been a dreamer. and I'm a dreamer who makes them come true. (think positive hema!) . At the end of it all, no matter what i go through, no matter what doubts i have, head or tail, essentially i just simply want to become a medical doctor. that's the baseline. people may have their doubts and honestly so do i time to time but that’s what I WANT. and what i want, I'm prepared to fight for. I want to live a full and complete life. I'm young only once but that's the most fucked up reason for me to give up my dream. I'm going to work for what i want. if that means me having less of a social life (like as if its so great now:/ but yeah) so be it. If its means not turning up to the Nott every week, so be it. i am going to work my ass off. and I'm going to make it through. any one, and i mean any one, who has to say otherwise to me, you can just fuck off. i don't need a speech about reality but because i know it. I know the possibilities and i know people fail. but I'm not going to let that keep me down. and when i said anyone, i meant anyone. i don't give a rats ass if you’re related to me or my best friend or a mere acquaintance.

So lets recap on what i want now.

-do well in all my papers

-qualify for honours and actually do the damned thing

-sit for gamsat and apply to med school

-take a few years off to save $$

-become a doctor:)

simple. what i want. i just have to work my ass of to get it. i don't mind really.

For now, exams are over. waiting for my results which come out this Friday. hopefully i do well. I'm just praying i pass everything. even if i don't score so well, i can at least work really hard to pull up my average.

oh i also went to the gold coast. I'm going to write about that in the next post. this seems long enough. :)