When you broke my heart, that day, so many years ago, everyone told me in a matter of time things will get better. That i wouldn’t feel it anymore after awhile. That the next guy i found and I'd forget of the pain you caused. But you scarred me. An wound that will always hurt. Even after it healed. I don't care that you broke my heart anymore. But i care that you shattered it so much that I'm so afraid to move now. That fear to even let anyone know who id thought might be worth my time. The fear of even admitting to myself that i might be healing. And all these years, my fears have let so many chances of a new start slip away. I’m trying to hold sand in my open palm. I want to heal but I'm just too afraid, too insecure and too broken to try. You shattered the very confidence you helped me build. Andrew heard the list. ugly. fat like a gigantic field. apparently not too bright either. Yeah. i have issues and yeah i know. but me not saying it doesn't mean that its not running through my head every single day. And there's a reason why this blog is private only open to those i believe who wont judge me. I used to be able to deal with this shit. What happened?? oh yeah. you shattered the heart that actually cared.

I don't want to blame you. But you broke my heart.