They are all so skinny.

I hate hanging out with them.

I don't know why i went today.

All they care about is how they look.

I want to lose weight.

I hate being fat. I hate hate HATE HATE being fat.

I also hate having to pretend that im not offended.

I feel like an idiot:(

Edit: I have one true dream. like stated in my facebook. Fuck all those other dreams i had. I just want to disappear. I hate this feeling. Like an outsider. I feel like that around people who so called have a purpose. I wish i could go back to secondary school. When the highlight of my life was about how many times a week i saw my crush and what i should wear to the next birthday party. I loved the feeling of having a purpose and doing something meaningful. Yeah, it was just a lame Secretary post in dumb prefect board. But it was I did. It was what I loved. Having meetings with the exco's in our tiny prefect room. Talking rubbish the whole time but still managing to do up the needed work. But now, I feel like as if I'm so desperate to spend time with a friend. (babe, I'm sorry, i know its not your fault and i don't blame you. My brain's just a little twisted. It never worked that well to being with. ) I just feel like crawling under the covers and crying my eyeballs out. But no, I'm waiting for my friend because no matter what that's what friends do. I just wish i could disappear to neverland and never find myself again.

I'm a Loser. Through and through.

And i think I'm back to hating myself.

Note: I'm not slamming anyone in this post. Just myself.


Nobody sees bright skys when it rains:(

I feel sorta depressed. I'm supposed to be studying but I'm postponing it till after blogging.

I feel..FAT. I am fat and i feel fat. And i just want to lose weight and be skinny. I so tempted to go buy pills or something but i don't know. It just not me. I hate pill popper so why should i pop pills? I was exercising during the hols. And i managed to exercise a little once school started. But now i just have no energy to continue exercising . I know these are all just excuses and i have to get my butt out of the house and into exercising again.

you know what i going to try? I'm going to eat subway everyday in school, not eat at home cause face it. I'm eating sandwich and cookies and 100 plus. ALOT of food. So if i eat just this a day and try to go gym on Mondays and friday and swimming on tuesday and thursday mornings then id be exercising alot, cutting back on calories. yada yada.

I want to be slim and toned.Not fat and flab.

:(:(

Posers, losers and wannabes.
Their all the same.

And im afraid that im already one of them.

My lappy has 71% battery left. that s to say about 15 mins. I just finish my school work and think i have to blog to erase bad karma. :P

Ok so what. i was sad about my specs. but it should be able to be fixed.

I changed my blog skin this morning. Its kinda small, and squishy but i love all that it represents.
There was one sapnaa helped me pick, it said 'if destiny chooses to make me turn away, then the orld would have missed out on a great story.' The pictures and all where so nice. But it wasnt me. im not one to shy away from battle. no matter how upset i get. So this skin is just as nice but more me. very funky too.

I am going to go to the optical shop and DEMAND that they fix my specs or give me a refund or a replacement. I want my specs. I need my specs!!!

My specs broke.

My $180 specs broke.

My Fucking $180 Specs Fucking broke!

What the fuck sial. I feel like crying. This sucks. Cant i ever have a damn good day. how the fucking hell am i gonna see the damn board now. I paid $180 of which $80 was my own money. I just want my specs to be ok or something worth my money.

ya i was stupid to go and get such an expensive.

A class mate just told me me that when im angry he gets very scared. Have i mentioned that i just about hate life.