It really sucks to be going through a hard time. It's even harder when other people you know are also going throught a hard time. It feels like we're in this bubble that cant be broken and outside this bubble i can see people having a good life , like the one i used to have or i wish i had. I just wish this bubble would break, and this feeling would fade. And mostly i wish could live again.

Ten things i'm must do/buy!
1)
Stop drinking redbull
2)
Start eating more fruits
3)
Drink more water
4)
Start gym-ing again
5)
Get a new pair of headphones
6)
Get more tops
7)
A new water bottle(hopefully nike)
8)
Mp3!!!
9)
MyUk Bag!
10)
NEw lappy bag!!! or wallet... either one...

bleh...im bored... dealwiddit!!

I could never fit in. Everything in my life just makes go further and further away.

I got a C for the culture and aesthatic class. WTF.....i mean seriously..WTF... first lesson and he gave my whole group a C. What ever lah. I would just ignore this but no! I need to get great grades. Not good grades. But great grades. Please lah, i need to improve my bloody gpa and if i dont get great grades, i'll die!!

MSNing you on Friday really made me feel better. We didn't talk about the world but we just talk about nothing in particular. But just knowing it was you across the connection made me feel brave again, to carry on and take that next step. I know you don't realise what you mean to me. And even if you knew, I don't know if you'd take me seriously. But i just want to thank you for the courage you gave me.

I wish you were here, next to me, and i miss you terribly , and i just wish, you were next to me.

I'm in a frigde. NOpe. I'm just in muy class room which is fucking cold. I'm not really enjoying todays lesson well. I'mfinding it a bit annoying and draggy. I feel like just going home but has it is i came late so i gotta help. Its annoying when you have to help but they dont really give you the opening to help. arghh.. ill be back later.

what a week. I've never felt more stressed and depressed and tired and annoyed so much and right at the same time. Well my granddad passed away on Sunday and his funeral was on Monday. Well I'm damn sad lah. I'm really gonna miss him a lot. But he's gone and and I'm not. So i got to keep living and gotta be there for my grand ma. but I'm just wondering, why does this have to hurt so much. haiz. its life i guess. I'm back in school today and i guess i just feel a little weird o be in a different class. Im so tired , i started stoning awhile ago. Haiz. I'm tired and cold and i wanna go home. cant wait for school to end.

NUMBED. That's what I would say i feel like right now. Debate was screwed up just now. It was annoying cause i was the only year one who turned up. I hope like once school starts back, we can start debating again. Rumbles, the debate tournament we're organising is coming up. So most of my time is going to be taken up there.

Well on a lighter note, Ive chopped off my hair. Well not all of it. Haha. I cut off like 6 inches. Definitely shorter than what i had. Anyway , my hair is like a jail break from hell messy. But i like it. I'll figure something out for the first day off school, just so that i don't go scaring all my new classmates.

I know it's time to let go. But i also know I'll miss you terribly. I love you to my hearts content and your a man ill never stop loving and respecting.

OMG. I think I'm going crazy. I literally cant breath cause there's no freaking breathing space here. ahhhhhhhhhhhh.

OK. Never mind. Screw that. I'll find comfort in room later. Anyway, talk about a night of weird dreams. I dreamt of both the guys i liked. OK, lets face it, one was a crush. The other.Well the other, i don't think i like him anymore. Its a on off thing. Its 2 years since i started liking him and about 4 months since the on off feeling have come about. Well i can just say, dreams are weird.

I cant wait for school to start. Monday. School is somewhere i can ignore all my problems. Even if problems there arise, i dint bother hesitating to say fuck off. With the other parts of my life, its not as easy.I have to stand up or back down and compromise. I guess that life right.

I feel that the only escape for me right now is to go overseas and study and build my base there. I never felt fit in with my family and sometimes even my friends. So maybe a way to escape is all I'm looking for.

Life is sad enough. No elaboration needed.

anyway lets just talk about the happier parts of life.

my new class is W46G

erm. i think thats all for the happiness right now. Too depressed to think of anything else. =(

we all move on. I just wonder why sometimes we hold on so tight to something that already gone. Is it that we can't accept that it's truly gone or is it that we want to claim our dependence on it. Well we have to face it. When somethings gone , its gone.

We learn not to forget.
We learn to cry when it's gone.
What about making it last,
while it's still strong?


Don't mind my random rumblings. Haven't been in a sane stage for the pass couple of days.

Go Figure...