I was just blog surfing and i found you tube video's of someone in my past. And i just realised how pain full this is. Moving on and not talking to him. Its not the moving on part anymore. I am over him. I don't have feeling for him anymore in that sense. But my feeling o him being a good friend of mine is not over. I miss him as a friend. I miss talking back to him and him calling me lame names. This conversations we had was not about me liking him but about him and me ans friends. And i find it hard and pain full to lose a friend like him. Part of me regret that i told him again that i still had feelings for him cause i lost a friend. But the other part of me has no regrets because if i had not told him, i would not have gotten over him. Getting over him has help me take another breath of fresh air. It finally help my head AND heart agree on my priorities. I've been having nightmares of him. Of him scolding me, Of him leaving me stranded in the middle of a dark alley and so many other nightmares. And when this happens I can barely function throughout the day. It becomes as if my body is on autopilot. It so pain full to walk pass somewhere and remember the friendship I've lost. I wish the friendship with had didn't die. I really hope it didn't die.