Well,ive been home since like thursday and ive not seen the sunshine since then... ok... i have seen the sunshine but bascially i haven left home....AT ALL!!..u noe y?? cos ive got the chicky pox...yeap...just my luck...i missed 3 papers which ill get an X for...and for my consolation,'just dont miss the other 3 test'...argh...not fair!...any way, i cant really sleep so yea...i just spend the whole day playing a mindless computer game...phew...

anyway...you noe what i realised(having all the time in the world to be lost in thought)?...im a very very jealous person...i dunno whats wrong with me...i dont even noe if jealous is the word id use...its like, something will strike me...then ill start thinking and imagining things that might happen , that i dont think have happen (at least to what i noe)but ill start thinking bout them and then ill get all emotional and pissed...i mean...what da heck man...the issue or person im getting pissed about has no direct link to me...for example,a person named squirrel(for EXAMPLE), i start thinking bout this person and people who relate to this person and then i get pissed of certain imagined situation....but squirrel is someone i have strong feelings for but he's not my boyfriend or bestfriend or anything...just friend...so why am i feeling so worked up and irritated???its all the little things that get me so worked up...and i feel lyk a werid idiot, cos its not even my place to feel the way i do...argh...why do i do this to myself??

FRIENDS.

omg...i could write an essay on this man....ok...but seriously...lately, ive been feeling that a certain friend has not been honest with me about a friendship they are having with someone who im not very fond of and ive asked over and over again, ' hey , tell me honestly ah....are u very close with so and so?' the answer is always standard..'er.no..not really..okok lah'....but somehow i still dont feel its da truth...maybe cos of friendster...haha....theres alot of things that say ure close to her...super close..im just a lil tweaked that i dun think this friend is being honest with me...maybe i have been acting lyk the jealous bitch i am but honestly, even if ure best friends with her im mot gonna feel all angry blah blah drama queen stuff...AS LONG AS ITS U whu tells me...and not make me find out on my own...its quite sad dat i feel that i can trust u with my life and it feels lyk u dun trust me with even this...so tell me...am i thinking straight by trusting my gut instinct or am i just paranoid?? (T-T)
either way paranoid or not, i think u noe whu u are and i just wanna say that...no matter what , i luv ya loads and i dunno what ill do without u ...and when u do read this, pls pls clarify my doubt(paranoid or gut feeling)... this is just somthing that has been weighing on me and i just thought itd be best to get it off my chest...im not pissed fyi...just...er...confused...


anyway...i was thinking of getting highlights...or re- rebond my hair...highlights are definatley a cheaper option plus i like the way my hair is...how it is , i dunno...haha..but i like it...so yeah...but the new growth is coming is and maybe i should just rebond my hair again...but what if this time round when i rebond it, it becomes stick straight...then itd be a problem...but on the other hand what if the highlights dont suit me????
why?!why do torment my self with these questions??!
but i have to see if i even have da cash for this before i start tormenting myself again...

and btw...life still goes on...