Well , its kinda of in the middle of the night, but i cant sleep so yeah... haha.. well today, technically yesterday was two very special people's birthdays...One was gaya...my dearest darlingest wonderfullest sis is now officaily 21...happy birthday...youre getting old...hehe...and the other person was... well it was da special ones birthday...THE special one...anyway, more bout that l8er...

ill be back in action on monday...yippie....cant wait to go back to sch...can talk non stop again...well, i went to see da doctor in da morning so i can go back on monday...then lke i went to np to buy cake fer gaya...came home...met my uncle and cuz from m'sia, then i went off to meet a bunch of friends and pass the pressie to the special one...came back , got ready and went to The Village in The Heeran wid dad,sisters ,uncle and cuzzies..then we (just da cuzzies)went to the esplanade to just chill and slack...and now im home..so basically that was my day...a freaking damn long day...

Anyway, i was quite happy to meet up with sapnaa after so long...though we talk on da phone daily, it just isnt da same as bullying her in person...and seriously , i just missed her loads...it was also fun to like finally meet up wid da sec 4s...

Well, i gave HIM his pressie...i really dunno lah...i have so many thoughts running thru my head...but basically i felt like being totally honest in wadeva i wrote in da card and i did...but that was before i saw him and spoke to him...today it just seemed...wads that word??...nice...yeah...it just felt nice...nth special...nth great but just nice...and i just poured m heart out in da card...what if lyk he gets pissed bout that, or even if it doesnt get him pisssed wad if it changes our friendship...lyk im so freaking confused...and im really thinking was it wrong to be honest?...and i just feel lyk crap too...thats another long story...and you noe wad?...today might just have been the last day i see HIM for like forever .. seriously ..sob sob sob...

i just have this freaking conflicts in my head that dont leave me in peace...why cant this be simple...why?why oh why oh why?...my thalaivithi!

am i seriously waiting for something that might NEVER be ?somebody pls tell me...i need help...

everyone has someone to turn to..i just have...no one...